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A clique,
as we all know, is a group of tightly woven friends who pride
themselves on simply being together at the exclusion of everyone
else. The only thing more uncomfortable than approaching a
clique (usually a group of giggly or snobby girls and self-intoxicated
guys) is being shot out of a cannon directly at a brick wall.
Had I only been shot at brick walls as a teenager, I might
be a little happier today.
I've noticed that friendships
in general are a lot easier to form and maintain for guys
than they are for girls. In fact, you can punch guys in the
gut repeatedly and they don't really mind as long as you share
your football tickets with them. Men and boys as a whole are
more forgiving than girls, and generally avoid arguments.
Even so, guys still have to deal
with cliques and "in-crowds". Guy cliques, or "Ego
Central", are almost always made up of guys with similar
interests who grew up together. So while you're trying to
bring up a new topic for conversation, they're still reminiscing
about the same unbelievable Nerf football game they played
in kindergarten.
Such groups will form around
similar interests both in and out of school, so unless you
are always where they are, you have little chance of being
included.
But why would you want to be?
Besides for limiting you socially, you are never given a chance
to shine as an individual and build your own character.
You're known as "they" and never as "he".
The best advice I can give you
is to stick with your own friends and never form an impenetrable
"fortress of insecurity" yourselves. Though what
"they" are doing seems to be getting a lot more
attention now, time will show the value of your friendships
over theirs.
Even without traveling in trendy
packs, guys and girls will vie for each other's attention
as individuals, as well. The way some people act in order
to boost their popularity, you'd think that they were getting
paid. Joining the basketball team and being a bit more outspoken
is one thing; acting completely out of character and breaking
all the rules just to be "popular" is something
else altogether.
Many times guys will do crazy things
to give their ratings a jolt, but the satisfaction fades fast
and the moment of fame sometimes leaves months of work to repair
the damage done. Trying to be someone you're not can only hurt
you and your relationships, and will rob you of whatever respect
others had for you to begin with.
Friendships that are developed
over time, are based on honesty with one's self and with one
another, and are not forged just to exclude others, will be
a lot deeper and more fulfilling than any clique that ever
was or ever will be.
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