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Dear "Old-Fashioned,"
There is nothing old-fashioned about
a parent setting guidelines for her child's behavior, whether
it be dress, entertainment or anything else. Children look
to adults for both personal example and advice, even though,
as adolescents, they would never want us to know it! If you
have raised your daughter with certain values, she has them
inside of her, even though right now she wants to be part
of the crowd, which is natural.
She has a real dilemma because
she wants to be with her friends and she probably knows deep
inside that you are right in your values, especially if they
have been imparted throughout her life not in a preachy way
but in the natural course of daily living. How about taking
her out for an afternoon of shopping and lunch and taking
in a movie together which is enjoyable but meets your standards?
Use that time also to talk and discuss these issues as a two-way
street, not to tell her what she should do. Relax with her
and enjoy yourself. Nothing is more wonderful for a teenaged
girl than to discover that her mother can also be a good friend
who knows how to listen and how to have fun too. You may discover
that she can be a wonderful friend for you, too.
WholeMom
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