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Dear Night Owl’s Mom,
I am copying this e-mail to
Stephanie Tolan, who has written an article in our Advanced
Development Journal on sleep patterns in profoundly gifted
children. I think you would be very interested in Stephanie's
observations.
We have a support group in Denver,
called POGO, for parents of children in the 160+ IQ range.
At this point in time, many POGO families homeschool their
children, and I know of at least two families that homeschool
their children at odd hours. One family works from 6:00 P.M.
until midnight. Another family can be up most of the night,
and I presume that they sleep late in the morning.
Stephanie brought to my attention
the fact that her son and his friend slept better when they
had been sufficiently stimulated during the day, (as if they
needed to do a certain amount of mental work before they could
sleep). As these boys are now adults, she has been following
their sleep patterns, and finding that, indeed, they have
unusual patterns, even in adult life. When highly stimulated
and engaged in projects, they can go for days on end with
very little sleep, and then crash and sleep for most of a
week-end.
After talking with Stephanie,
I asked the POGO group about their experiences with sleep
patterns in their children. The 12 families represented the
night we discussed this ALL said that their children were
difficult to get to sleep at night (they were afraid they
would "miss" something) and they were just as difficult
to get up in the morning. One of the parents asked the others
how much sleep they needed in comparison with their children,
and it turned out that the parents and children (regardless
of the children's ages) all needed about the same amount of
sleep. It just SEEMED like the children needed less sleep
than the parents because the parents were so exhausted by
the battle of getting them to bed at night, and the battle
of getting them up in the morning!
As for your situation, it seems
to me that it should be negotiated. If you are a night owl,
and you do your best thinking at night, then you and your
son should feel free to homeschool at night, despite the fact
that this is counter to the rest of the world's time schedule.
However, if your son is a night owl, and you have responsibilities
with the rest of your family during regular daylight hours,
then he has to adjust to your schedule and your needs. Otherwise
you will burn out or become ill. You may strike up a compromise
in which you homeschool him during the day, perhaps late in
the day so that he can sleep late, and he can be allowed to
stay up late and sleep in late ONLY IF THIS DOES NOT INTERFERE
IN ANY WAY WITH THE LIVES OF THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY. He cannot
be given the message that he is more important than everyone
else. He must learn that you have needs, too. However, I do
not feel that you must necessarily get him to conform to others'
biological clocks. He has his own unusual rhythm.
Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Linda Kreger Silverman PhD
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