Dear WholeDad:

My 12-year-old daughter has an outstanding talent for dancing. I'm not saying that just because she's my daughter. I am able to judge my children's potentials quite accurately. I believe that she herself knows that she has the ability to create an outstanding career in this field. And yet she refuses to display her gift in any public way. The only times she is prepared to dance is in the informal setting of our nuclear family. No words of positive reinforcement will persuade her to develop her skill. On the one hand I cannot and don't believe in forcing my kids to do things that are not part of their mandatory education, yet I fear that if I cannot convince her to maximize herself, she will regret not having "seized the day" when it is already too late. How can I help her?

Dear Dad of Dancing Daughter,

You are not your daughter and believe it or not there is more than one way to self-fulfillment in life besides the one on which you may be fixed .You should let her know that you believe in her ability and that she has your support if she decides to pursue a career, but no more than that. Trust in her ability to recognize what she wants out of life. True, some of the greatest performing artists were pushed by their parents to strive for perfection. Also true, many of those same artists are extremely unhappy, sad people.

Regards,
WholeDad

What would you advise this father to do?