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It is natural to feel uncomfortable when our children take a big
jump that we aren't necessarily ready for. You say that your daughter
is 11, but well developed physically and perhaps emotionally.
Yet, this isn't the child you knew a year or two ago. She has
taken a leap ahead and sometimes that leaves us parents without
our bearings.
Some
girls prefer boys, and others prefer girls. Most children
will socialize with children of both sexes. It is important
that you talk with your daughter about her physical development
and the implications of this development. Raising the subjects
of sex, pregnancy, birth control and AIDS should be a priority.
While she is young, your concerns are legitimate and it's
not too early to begin communicating with her about these
issues.
Give her information she may be lacking. Children like to
give the impression they know it all, but they rarely do.
Even if they have sex education in school, there is nothing
like hearing it from mom or dad. State clearly what your point
of view is while allowing room for questions and discussion.
Children need to hear clearly from their parents what their
values and limits are. Both values and limits give a feeling
of security to children of all ages, including teenagers.
Reading
a book about adolescence may help you better understand what
to expect, and how to deal with some of the issues that may
come up over the course of the next couple years. Remember,
that although teenagers get a lot of bad press, most of them
are really neat kids who get along well in school and with
their families and peers. It sounds like your daughter falls
into that category and with such a caring mom hopefully it
will stay that way.
Good
luck,
Naomi
Baum, PhD
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