18-Month-Old Twins

Q: I am extremely frustrated. Both of my 18-month-old twins can climb out of their cribs now and destroy the room instead of going down for a nap or bedtime. I have tried the Gestapo technique of standing by the door and putting them back in their cribs with the monotone voice, "Get back in your bed." I've sat in the rocker in their room and repeatedly put them back in their beds. I have yelled and spanked, and nothing seems to work.

Recently, we took everything out of their room that could cause a safety issue, and bolted the dresser to the wall, since they like to climb. I put a gate at the door but don't close it, and we let them do whatever they want until they become exhausted and fall asleep. Every 10-15 minutes, I go in the room and put them back in bed. Last night, we put them down at nine, and they didn't fall asleep until 10. Right now as I am writing this, one little guy is exhausted and crying, and the other is climbing into his crib.

One of the twins talks well, and the other talks in full sentences, but we cannot understand a word he says. He has had over seven ear infections in the past year. Both my pediatrician and ENT say to wait until he is two for an evaluation, but I'm concerned.

  
 

A: When a toddler climbs out of the crib, it is no longer a safe place for him to sleep. I suggest you fold up the cribs and store them away for your next children. Low youth beds are safer at this time, and if you'd rather not invest in those yet, use your boys' crib mattresses on the floor.

Having a separate room for each boy for at least a little while until they learn to settle down would also be effective. You will have to childproof each room temporarily. A gate on each door that will stay secure, with a second gate above it so your sons can't climb over, will keep them safely enclosed. Tuck each in their separate beds in separate rooms, quieting each one at a time with a lullaby or prayer and lock the gate. Don't worry if they leave their beds, as long as they can't leave the room.

Eventually, each will quiet down, and you can move their sleeping bodies on to the low mattress, or permit them to rest safely on the floor. Right now, your sons are stimulating each other and keeping each other awake. Once they get into a routine of settling down, you can try putting them in the same room again. It would be better not to keep going into the room, because their activities may be bids for your attention. The locked gates will permit you to peek in without them seeing you.

Two seems like a good age for a speech evaluation, but if you're too worried to wait, go now. A series of evaluations may be required, but a speech therapist may want to help your son immediately. I have heard of a similar problem with twins, and a very short therapeutic period was required to help the child speak understandably. It is possible that the ear infections are part of the problem, but your ENT can answer that question.

A few sessions with a psychologist to guide you with your twins may also be enough to put you in charge again. This may seem like a lot of doctoring, but these problems are usually outgrown fairly quickly with some help and you'll be able to enjoy your twins before long.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

Copyright © 2000, Creators Syndicate, Inc.

 
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is a child psychologist, a clinical professor at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine and the author of many books on parenting. She appears weekly on her own radio show, Family Talk With Sylvia Rimm, and appears monthly on the NBC Today Show.
 
Ask a WholeFamily Expert
 
 
 
WholeFamily Home RegisterParent Center Home Page
Home / Parent Center / Sylvia Rimm

 




Search the Site
ISSUES
Adult Children
Between Mom & Dad
Between Siblings
Child Development
Communication
Discipline/Behavior
Divorce
Fathers and Mothers
Feelings
Friendships
Gifted Kids
Grandparenting
Health & Nutrition
LD/ADHD
Life Changes
Living & Dying
School
Sexuality
Sleep
Substance Abuse
Toilet Learning
TV & Computers
AGES
Early Childhood
School-Age
Teen
COMMUNITIES
Single Parents
Working Moms
Blended (Step)
Families
FEATURES
SYLVIA RIMM, PhD
Dramas
Contests
Crisis Center
Daily Dilemma
Hot Topics
COLUMNS
Reflections from Ruth
Under Sherri's Hat
WholeMom
PERKS
Family Fun
Helpful Hints
Parent Epiphanies

Great Parenting Tips

Wisdom of the Ages
 

Search by
Issue and Age




 
send this page to a friend
 
feedback

 


Twins