Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I have begun to have some concerns recently about our 8-year-old. She is an only child, very bright (in our school district's gifted program), attractive and friendly, especially with adults. She loves to read and be read to. She chooses not to watch television; she is too busy with her other projects. She doesn't want to see movies made for children, and she has no interest in popular music. She loves old musicals like "Annie" and " My Fair Lady." She has begun to comment that she is different from other children, and doesn't share their tastes. She reports that she is teased for not knowing popular TV characters or pop stars.

I am concerned that we have immersed her in the world of our tastes -- folk and classical music, children's literature, adult conversation, all of which she enjoys -- and have inadvertently separated her from her peer group.

Is there a down side to filtering out popular culture when she's only 8? Of course, we are happy that our daughter loves good books, but will she be well-adjusted if she has too little in common with her age-mates?

All children would probably be better off with a little filtering out of popular culture, and your daughter may indeed be better off not knowing some of the pop stars. You can leave the pop culture decision to her, but if she doesn't choose to watch it or listen to it, it's not important to pressure her about it. She can't avoid picking up on some of it.

Of course, your daughter does need some friends. Perhaps she can invite a friend over to watch a video she enjoys. There's hardly a child that wouldn't enjoy "Annie." Also, playing traditional board games can become the basis for fun and laughter and help kids to span interest gaps.

Since your daughter is an only child, you'll want to be sensitive to some special guidelines. For example, attending a summer camp will help your daughter to relate to peers, and having a cousin visit for a few days can help her to experience a sibling-like relationship.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm,Phd

For more guidelines for raising only children, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 45489, Cleveland, OH, 44145.

Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, The Cleveland Clinic, P.O. Box 45489, Cleveland, OH 44145, or e-mail: srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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