Q: I have a two-year-old girl who screams whenever she doesn't get her way. Sometimes it doesn't take much to set her off. For example, if she is taking a bath, which she enjoys and I tell her bath time is almost over, she gets upset. When I go to drain the water out of the tub, she starts screaming. She fights with me and has a temper tantrum. Her screams are loud and blood curdling.

My husband and I are at our wits' end as to what to do. Obviously, we can't let her keep screaming. We live in an apartment, and we can only imagine what our neighbors are thinking. Whatever suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. She does have a strong personality.

A: Your terrific 2-year-old does sound strong-willed. It's usually a good idea to help a child get ready for a transition, but for your daughter, it seems to prepare her to scream. Perhaps you should simply take her out of the tub quickly with little ceremony and drain the water afterwards. She has probably realized that her screams put pressure on you and I suspect that you give in to it at least half the time.

You may have to time your daughter out in her room with a double gate on to make it clear that she can't get her way when she screams. Of course, you'd like her to use words or at least hear yours, but undoubtedly, neither is possible when she's screaming. If the screaming continues, a few sessions with a psychologist may help to determine a possible underlying problem.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

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