Q: We have recently moved to South Carolina from Columbus, Ohio, and, wow, what a difference in the educational standards. Although we have our two children, ages eight and five, in a private school, my husband and I are still disappointed with the curriculum and standards.

Our eight-year-old is a gifted student, especially in math. He should be in third grade, but we skipped him to fourth, because of academics and his maturity level. My son continues to be a straight-A student. However, the private school is not what we are used to. Most of the teachers are not certified, and the pay is very low, so the turnover rate is high. The parents already feel the curriculum is too difficult, and as a result, there isn't much homework or enrichment activities. The teachers are unable to assess where children are. In the fourth grade, out of 31 students, 29 made the honor roll!

There is something wrong here. I've not seen the curriculum to be difficult at all and am seeing some depression and behavioral problems in my son. He's simply not challenged and the teachers are either unable or unwilling to enrich him. There is another private school 25 miles away that is willing to accept our eight-year-old. I'm not sure if the curriculum is any tougher, but the teachers are all certified and able to assess the student's level of potential. The atmosphere seems much more structured -- the teachers do not allow the students (or parents) to run things. There's no constant running to the bathroom, sharpening of pencils, or other non-academic activities going on.

At the school our sons are currently attending, the students seem to be out of class more than in, and it's very distracting. Our son, however, wants to stay.

Do we further traumatize him by moving him to yet another school, or do we allow him to stay and just enrich him at home? I've talked several times to the headmaster and teachers, but the bottom line is that they simply aren't qualified in these areas, and the few families who run the town do not want things to change. Any suggestions?

A: If you are convinced the present school is not as good an educational environment after you do a careful assessment of both schools, I believe you and your husband should make the decision with your son's input. If your son can convince you that he's learning and there's sufficient challenge at his present school, you should be open to his point of view.

On the other hand, if he says he'd like to stay at his present school because he likes the kids, you can be fairly confident he'll also adjust socially at his new school. If you choose the worse school over the better school based on social life alone, you are communicating to your son that you prioritize social life over learning. Kids sometimes do set that priority and it becomes the responsibility of parents to assure them that from a long-range perspective, it's more important that they receive an excellent education.

If you choose to send your son to a new school, it would be reasonable to permit him to complete the school year and have a new beginning next year. Either way, it's a good idea to get involved in some enrichment activities at home, particularly those that broaden the topics he is already learning about in school.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

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