Dear Dr. Sylvia,

We have three boys, ages 6, 2, and 10 months. Our oldest boy turned 6 in September and is in the first grade. We had him tested by a psychologist before kindergarten to see if we could start him early. His ratings were very high, and we were given the go-ahead. My son's teacher has been telling us that he doesn't have the maturity level, and he should be held back. Although he does well academically, he is a disruption to the class. She started a daily report with a happy face, straight face and sad face; we do receive more sad or straight faces than happy faces. When he gets a happy face, she writes on the sheet, "A good day" or "An OK day," but when he gets a straight or sad day, she makes a list of everything. When he is at home and by himself, he is great. When his 2-year-old brother is home with him, they both look for attention. I feel he is "attention-addicted," and it looks like his 2-year-old brother is heading that way. Do you have any suggestions of what do to reverse this?

Sometimes only children who are accustomed to a lot of attention at home feel attention-deprived when they come to school and must share attention with so many children.

Since your daughter is the right age for kindergarten, retention is unlikely to be advisable, and the structure of first grade may actually be helpful to her learning. If she continues to have problems in first grade, an evaluation by a psychologist can help you to determine if there is a learning or attentional problem that prevents your daughter from concentrating. You may wish to do an evaluation at this time so you can provide some extra enrichment during the summer, in case there are some specific problems that the evaluation uncovers.

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Dr. Sylvia Rimm,Phd

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