Q: My 8-year-old daughter struggles with math. She cries before doing her math homework, and even more when it is completed. The work is usually correct, but the relief of completing it is just overwhelming for her. I feel inadequate when I try to help. I am concerned that I may be causing her more frustration than she already has. She still uses her fingers to help with simple addition and subtraction and she is very embarrassed that she still needs to do this. I almost want to place blame on her first and second-grade teachers, but I honestly can't do that. I feel she would have this struggle regardless.

My three older children took to math naturally. I may have also had this disability. My family would run in all directions when I asked for help with math; they knew I would end up in tears. I can say I am not very comfortable with formulas, but I sew wonderfully, am a picture framer today and don't hesitate with my measurements. I know that I feel comfortable because of having the use of the tape measure or ruler to assist me. You referred to a math disability called "dyscalculia" in one of your columns. I am extremely interested in learning all I can about this. Can you guide me in the correct direction so I may assist my child in learning her math?

A: I'm sure it is difficult to watch your daughter struggle, and when you remember your own struggle, it causes you to feel even more stress. Dyscalculia is a very real diagnosis, but it doesn't mean that children with the disorder can't learn math, only that it is harder for them.

Just as you feel comfortable with a ruler and tape measure, your daughter may need to depend on some crutches to help her through mathematics. Schools are very aware that some children have learning disabilities in the area of mathematics, and they are required by law to provide assistance. The school psychologist can evaluate your daughter to determine if she qualifies for additional assistance. You may also want to recall some of the strategies and tools that helped you, and suggest those to your daughter.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

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