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Q: We have
a third-grader who we feel is very bright but not working to her
potential. She brings home a lot of homework, which consists of
real homework and work not finished at school. She begins her
homework after school at her sitter's home, and frequently tells
her all her assignments are complete, when in fact, they're not.
When I pick her up at 5:00, we go home and work
the rest of the evening, taking a break at dinnertime. I cut her
off at 8:30 pm. It seems as though she's not trying to understand
new concepts: alphabetical order, looking words up in the dictionary
and defining them. I've had her work independently while making
myself available for help when needed.
When I check her work, it's often incomplete
or done incorrectly. I then get frustrated, and try to explain
the work to her, and she acts very disinterested or just plain
unwilling to accept any help. I end up raising my voice and lecturing
her on the importance of asking for help when she doesn't understand
a concept. I can't continue this way of life. It's all-consuming
and also unfair to our six-year-old, who is as independent as
can be and can entertain herself for hours, while her older sister
and Mom and Dad are involved in the homework thing.
I've read your books Why
Bright Kids Get Poor Grades and See
Jane Win. I see my daughter all over the first one. Is it
right to limit her homework time and allow her to turn in incomplete
and incorrect work? I will check what she has done but not give
her the answers, and simply mark what needs to be corrected. Luckily,
she has a teacher who is a no-nonsense type. Should I let her
suffer the consequences and hope she will become more responsible
for her actions?
I've had her tested for ADD, and it doesn't
seem to fit her. She is very, very creative and is showing signs
of significant artistic abilities. She is also very caring and
sensitive, and has never been a behavior problem at home or school.
I'm going crazy. Please advise.
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