Q: We have three children ages six, four, and almost one year old. Our four-year-old daughter complains about clothing hurting her. It started about two months after her younger brother was born. My wife and I now believe it's not physical, but perhaps a ploy at getting attention. My wife stays at home with the kids.

At first our daughter complained about her underwear hurting. She'd cry and scream, and we'd try to calm her down. We even took her to our family doctor who didn't find anything, but suggested using Monistat-7 externally for three days. There was no change during the three-day treatment. The problem has grown to where she complains about socks as well. She will not wear socks in shoes or boots. We've tried several approaches: talking to her about the problem, scolding, making her stay in her room until she finishes crying and screaming, and ignoring the problem. Currently, we are trying to ignore the problem.

She goes to dance class once a week and will complain and cry about her tights from the time we put them on until we get into the dance studio. Once with the other children, she stops complaining, but will tug at her clothes some. When we let our daughter dress herself, she'll find the most loose-fitting clothing to wear. Do you have any suggestions or ideas?

A: Tactile sensitivity is very real for some children and even some adults, but your daughter may also be using the problem to get your attention. It's also possible that your daughter is responding to a detergent allergy, so you may want to make the simple change to something like Ivory Snow for a while to see if that helps. Generally, soft clothes that are prewashed tend to help considerably, and old clothes seem more comfortable than new ones.

Let your daughter know she can wear her most comfortable clothes. Also suggest she handle her temper tantrums alone in her room, but tell her you'll be glad to talk and listen to her when she calms down.

Don't let your daughter's problem capture the household attention with a lot of adult talk. You're right that ignoring much of it will help. Also, many children outgrow the problem, so you may want to suggest that could happen to her as well.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

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