Q: My grandson is 11 months old. His mother is staying home with him this year and hoping to return to work part time when she finds the right baby sitter. I am home two days a week and she brings him over for a few hours each day.

The concern I have is in regard to my grandson's loud, temper-like screaming whenever he doesn't get his way. I know babies scream and cry, but how can I get across to him that an alternative way, for example, of going down the stairs, is safer and better. He quiets down when he realizes he has gotten down the stairs, but when I let his hands go to sit him down and show him to stand up again from the sitting position will make for less falls going down the step, he screams bloody murder.

I'm glad my grandson is concentrating on what he wants, but how can I show him that an alternative way of doing something can work to his advantage? How do I get him to develop patience? I'd like to nip this reaction of his in the bud.

My daughter often intervenes with something, a toy, for example, to get his attention away from the screaming. Should I be more patient?

A: Although some very young children do seem to learn to manage the stairs, most 11-month-olds need to be carried up or down stairs. Your grandson is too young for your lessons. Try them again six months from now.

Distracting your grandson from his screaming is exactly the correct approach for a baby this age and works very effectively. He is far from being able to use his words. You'll need to be patient in teaching him, but readiness plays an important role in his learning, and if he is not mature enough to learn, all your patience will not solve the problem.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

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