Q: I would like to begin the process of educating my 9-year-old daughter about her sexuality, starting with menstruation, and progressing with more information as it becomes more age appropriate. What information exactly is age appropriate? Her movie and TV watching is monitored, so she's been pretty well sheltered. However, kids in her peer group with older siblings are beginning to share information, so I figured I'd better get started. Where do I start, and more importantly, where do I leave it? I'm not ready to explain the more graphic aspects of sex to her yet, but I want to progressively give her more information. Can you recommend a book on this?

A: Even if your daughter is fairly sheltered, she probably knows more than you think she does because her friends have undoubtedly shared their knowledge with her. Although you may want to start with menstruation and how little girls' bodies gradually mature to adulthood, be prepared and open to further questions from your daughter. As a matter of fact, you should encourage them. As hard as it is for parents to break the ice, it's better for children to hear about sex from their parents than from their peers or television, which is often very graphic.

The best beginning book for girls your daughter's age is called The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (Valorie Lee Schaefer, American Girl Library). It addresses issues of health and grooming for young girls and is written in an appealing way for girls or their mothers.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

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