Dear Dr. Sylvia,

We've been having a lot of trouble with our 12-year-old son. In the last three weeks he has been caught smoking, and his grades keep going downhill to three Fs, two Ds, a C-, and an A in gym. He is the most loving child. We've been talking to a psychologist for the last five weeks, but our son keeps getting into trouble. I grounded him from his favorite things and nothing seems to help. He's very sneaky.

Smoking, declining grades and school trouble are surely good reasons to go for psychological help. Be sure that the psychologist spends regular time with you to help you interpret what's happening with your son.

Negative peer groups can often lead children astray, and children often join them because they have little confidence in themselves. It's an important time to encourage your son's strengths and interests and hope that he will find peers in those interest areas. Computers, music, drama, sports or scouts are some interest areas that help "tween" boys develop skills and interests and stay out of trouble at this age.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm,Phd

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