Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I received a web page from a friend explaining underachievement syndrome. This description fits my son to a tee. My son is 14, and rapidly failing the eighth grade. He is a wonderful person, but is reluctant to do anything in school. I live in Las Vegas, and out of desperation I have sent him to my mother in Illinois -- I felt that the schools here were growing too quickly and were unable to help my son. I'm a single mother, and was losing my patience.

The teachers in Illinois have bent over backwards to help my son, but he is still failing. My mother has picked up one of your books, and although it explains a lot, we are still stumped on what to do. I have suggested sending him back to me, because, like your book says, failing is his way of manipulating us and getting his way. He loves living at Grandma's house, since she isn't as strict as I am. I'm desperate to help my child before it is too late.

Grandma is likely to become as frustrated as you, and being easy on your son may not be the way to go. He needs to be at home with you so you can have him evaluated immediately by a psychologist. In addition to your son's underachievement, he could have learning disabilities or an attention disorder. He may be totally lacking in confidence or may benefit significantly by a male role model who can inspire and encourage him.

Now that you have my book, consider if your son is a "dominant" or "dependent" underachiever, and do try some of the many techniques I suggest in the book for this new school year. You're in a better position to follow through than your mother. Don't give up! High school can be a reawakening for some boys.

For a free newsletter on underachievement, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 45489, Cleveland, OH, 44145.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm,Phd

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