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A:
The principles of parenting from my book How
To Parent So Children Will Learn are applicable to children
of all ages, but the sooner they are implemented, the better.
Seven and ten-year-old children surely need parental leadership,
and it will help them tremendously if you and your husband are
united and in charge. There is very clear research that shows
some families who are either too strict or too liberal cause the
most harm to children; but there is quite a broad range of parenting
styles in between that will help your children grow in confidence.
Although too much punishment can be harmful,
children desperately need parents who set limits and are firm.
The world will often tell them no, and the best place they can
learn to accept this is in their home from the people who love
them most, so you do have a responsibility to consistently enforce
some limits.
While no parents know for sure how their
decisions will affect their children in the long run, as adults,
you are better at predicting the future than your children are.
They can learn some behaviors from immediate consequences, but
you can prevent them from making the kinds of mistakes that will
develop into long-term problems. Consider your children's interests,
personalities, strengths and needs when you make your decisions,
but take the initiative for teaching them honesty, hard work,
learning, kindness and the values that will lead them to success
and fulfillment. Prevent them from making the easy-way-out choices
that are so prevalent in our culture.
Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd
Copyright © 2000,
Creators Syndicate, Inc.
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