Sylvia Rimm: Whining Daughter

Whining Daughter

Q: Sometimes it seems as if our five-year-old daughter has lost her real voice and all she can do is whine. We try to tell her that we won't listen until she speaks in her normal voice, and that works on occasion, but she always resumes this bad habit. We also have a two-year-old son. Some of his big sister's whining is directed at him; for example, "Bobby got a bigger cracker than I did." Our daughter also has a very whiny friend at preschool. Just sign us "Parents Who Have Headaches from Too Much Whine!"

A: You're on the right track. Not responding to your daughter's whining or giving her one reminder to speak normally will diminish the whining. She is probably not aware she's whining until you alert her to it, and you may be responding to her automatically without thinking.

Whining is an awful habit, but it beats being mean or aggressive. The habit will gradually disappear if you're persistent. You'll suddenly notice it's really gone, and your "whine" headaches will be gone, too.

Dr. Sylvia Rimm, Phd

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is a child psychologist, a clinical professor at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine and the author of many books on parenting. She appears weekly on her own radio show, Family Talk With Sylvia Rimm, and appears monthly on the NBC Today Show.

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