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The question you ask is clearly not as simple as you make
it out to be. I cannot arbitrate from a distance a fight that
you are having with your wife. Issues of jealousy and trust
are at the cornerstone of any relationship. You both need
to examine what is going on in your relationship that it has
lead to this level of mistrust. What else is going on between
the two of you in your day-to-day lives?
Recommitting to the relationship and
rebuilding trust must be a priority if your relationship is
to continue. Deciding on whether it is appropriate for your
wife to be alone in an apartment with a man, whether it is
one in the afternoon or one in the morning, is something only
the two of you can decide together. What may be appropriate
for one couple may not be right for another.
Issues of control are often the source
of conflict in relationships. Who decides what? Who tells
whom what to do? These issues need to be sorted out and discussed
with each other when you are not mad at each other, and/or
in the middle of a fight. If you find that you have trouble
discussing these issues on your own, you might turn to marriage
counseling for assistance. Counseling can be a safe place
to put the issues on the table and then to address them in
a productive manner.
Good luck,
Dr. Naomi L. Baum, PhD
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