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Your
Voice
- We have never been in marital
therapy but I would like to be because I would like my husband
to learn how to communicate his feelings better to me and understand
what things are important to me, even little things, like telling
me when I look nice or showing me affection for no special reason.
- We have being to counseling because
of my hot temper and because my husband gives mixed messages
at times. We also have been to counseling over how to set boundaries
with my husband's adoptive mother. He has learned how to set
bounderies and does not give mixed signals anymore and I have
been better about asking for what I want. Well let's not mention
anything more about my hot temper!!! I love going from time
to time.
- No, but yes I'd like to be because
we need it now to work through some problems and learn how to
communicate better.
- We have currently reconciled after
being separated and I had filed for divorce. We are both going
to individual counselors. I have learned a lot about myself
and my husband is just starting to. He came from a highly dysfunctional
family. His mother had been married 6 times with seven children
by different fathers. There was also a lot of alcoholism in
their family. There has been a lot of interference from his
siblings and he is learning how to deal with that and how to
be himself. It has done our marriage good and we are just starting.
- We have no problem so at the moment
cannot say yes or no.
- Open and honest communications,
trust, teamwork.
- I am in my fourth marriage. My
first wife refused to go counseling, my second wife did not
stay long enough; my third wife and I went to two marriage counselors
and neither proved successful. We argued more after counseling
than before we went. She was a very dominating woman, and that
is not fiction or imagination. I am now married to my fourth
wife and she is wonderful, even though we have some differences.
Four marriages has been a lot of baggage for a person to carry,
especially one who thought he was at first called by God into
the ministry and who has remained in the church. Within two
years after my first divorce, my children, both boys came to
live with me. I was a single parent with two children to raise.
It was tough raising my boys, but I would do it again.
- That communication is the most
important thing in a marriage. If you can't communicate with
each other, you really have no ties to hold you together.
- We learned my husband has Attention
Deficit Disorder, which had never been diagnosed. Learning to
accommodate for his disability was easy. All these years I had
been griping about his selective listening, when all this time
he just needed modifications. Teaching special education now
works at home too. Many of our fights centered around, "I
do this all day, I shouldn't have to do it at home," when
actually, I have to for our sanity. Counseling was the best
thing for our marriage.
- I would like to try counseling
because my husband and I cannot resolve an issue important to
me concerning finances. This is a second marriage for me, and
we live in a house that belongs to me. We have 3 of my 4 minor
children living with us, while the 4th is away in college...I
pay all the monthly bills that pertain to running our household
except for 1/2 of our food budget. My husband pays his personal
expenses and feels he doesn't need to contribute anything more
to family expenses other than what he does for food, because
he says he has no investment in the house...It's as if he only
wants to take care of himself, while I am left to take care
of everyone (him, me, and the children). I feel I must get an
objective opinion, given the facts as I see them, about how
or if we can work this out.... (Abridged)
YOUR VOICE ON
LIFE, LOVE & MARRIAGE
Were
you ever in marital counseling? If so, what did you learn from
it? If not, would you like to be, and why?
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