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Introduction
by Dr.
Michael Tobin
In the classic triangle, the
roles shift between the two people as they take on three different
roles: victim, rescuer, and persecutor.
In this drama, the couple compete
for the preferred status of victim. The partners each claim
to suffer and then expect their partner to take on the role
of rescuer. They compete for victimhood and when neither wins,
they become persecutors, blaming and attacking the other for
their problems and pain.
We have included a subtext, to
show what each one is really thinking during their argument.
Note the opening moves of the
drama triangle. At 7:00 PM, Candace, 34, a stay-at-home mom,
is exhausted. Dinner needs to be made and the kids need to
be put to sleep. As soon as Mark, 38, a public interest lawyer,
walks in the house, Candace accosts him, demanding that he
take care of her. He counters by insisting that by dint of
his hard work and his drive home in the rain, he is the rightful
victim. Then they progress to blaming and attacking.
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