Home Issues

(Tom goes outside and vigorously wipes his boots.) "Satisfied?" (Shows the bottom of his boots)

Amy: Did you pick up the garlic and ginger?

Tom: Oh no. I forgot.

Amy: I want to make that chicken your father loves.

Tom: I forgot.

Amy: Why can't you remember? I wrote it down for you.

Tom: I lost the list.

Amy: Why can't you remember what I need?

Tom: I made a mistake. I'm phobic about lists.

Amy: Phobic about phone calls too. You could have called and told me you'd be late.

Tom: I didn't have any change.

Amy: So call collect.

Tom: I didn't think it was that big a deal.

Amy: I haven't spoken to you all week. Whenever I left a message, you were out.

Tom: When I got back to the hotel, it was too late to call.

Amy: (sarcastically) The great painter with his opening in Colorado. All of the critics love him. I needed the number of the insurance agent. I left a message but you never got back to me.

Tom: I tried to reach you. I left a message on the machine.

Amy: I never got it. I couldn't remember his name. I can't keep track of everything.

Tom: You could have looked in my desk.

Amy: I don't want to look in your desk. I want you to take care of what you said you would do.

Tom: One of the kids probably got the message. I'm sorry. Don't be mad. C'mon. Let's go upstairs and talk and fool around. I want to tell you about my week. I'll make it up to you.

Amy: I don't have time. I have to make dinner for your parents who want to see you since you returned from your great trip from being the great artist who couldn't care less about his wife or his family. While you were out partying, I had to deal with the insurance agent about your accident when you bumped into that lady because you were talking on the car phone. Why didn't you take care of it before you left?

Tom: I didn't have time. Relax. We can order pizza.

Amy: You know your mother; she won't eat anything made with white flour.

Tom: I don't know why you invited them anyway.

Amy: I thought you would be happy to see them.

Tom: Don't invite them if it's going to make you so stressed out.

Amy: You don't appreciate anything I do. You know, I'm happier when you're not here. It's so much more relaxed. The boys help me. When I ask them to do something they do it. They don't forget. If they say they're going to call, they call.

Tom: You don't appreciate what I do. You don't appreciate me. You didn't even ask about how my work was received. You didn't ask to see the reviews. You couldn't care less.

Amy: You're right. I don't have time for art. I'm too busy taking care of your kids and the dog who has a heart murmur now and the house -- the toilet stopped working.

Tom: You know what, maybe next time I'll stay away longer. If that's what you want.

Amy: What I want is a husband who acts like a man. Not another child.

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