|
Introduction
by Dr.
Michael Tobin
The value of money is whatever
we attribute to it. For one person, it's security; for another,
it's status; for a third, it's power and for a fourth, freedom.
Money becomes a reflection of a person's basic needs. For
Frank, money represents security. He has this gnawing
fear that if he doesn't save, a catastrophe awaits him in
the future. His anxiety about what will be prevents him from
living in the here and now. The parental role he feels forced
to play cuts him off from feelings of joy and satisfaction.
For Linda, money means freedom
and status. She wants to live in a style that fits her
self image and is consistent with her upbringing. She feels
money should be enjoyed, not obsessed about. She rationalizes
that all of her purchases are necessary for the welfare of
the family. If you need something, you just buy it. You don't
ask whether you can afford it. Besides, as long as her husband
is locked into the role of being the responsible one, she
is completely free to act as she pleases.
In a marriage, one inflexible
role always creates its rigid, polar opposite. In our
case, Frank, the future-oriented, hyper-responsible one is
engaged in a fierce battle with Linda, a free-spending woman
with a "why-worry-be-happy" attitude. In the
end, it's their marriage that's the real loser.
|