|
Dear "Scared,"
We hear that you are in a very difficult
situation. Two weeks before your marriage you learn that
your partner has been unfaithful to you, has lied to you
and furthermore you learn that he has had a baby with someone
else. I hear your pain and your fear; your pain for what
has been done to you and your fear as to what the future
holds for you.
If you decide to remain together
it is important for you to know that this issue will accompany
you wherever you go, whatever you do. Whatever responsibilities
your husband will take towards this child, you will have
to cope with it. It will always remain his child. So this
child will be part of your life, as long as you remain with
your husband.
If you want to work through this
we want to encourage both of you to go and get professional
help.
The way to know if he is the right
person for you and that he won't cheat on you again is if
he makes a sincere commitment to work on the relationship,
to learn and grow from this situation and to act like a
responsible husband and father.
Don't let your love for your fiancé
blind you to his character. Yet, if he grows as a result
of his mistake, then be confident that you married the right
man.
Good luck
Marc Gelkopf, PhD, psychologist and
Elisabeth Belais-Gelkopf, SW
|
