|
Introduction
By Arlette
Simon, MSW
Is there such a thing as
keeping the magic in marriage?
When you fall in love, the magic
is there, inside you, around you, between you and your beloved,
and it feels wonderful. You forget all your petty problems, you
glow, you are transformed into a being of beauty, passion, desire,
compassion, and happiness. You become interesting and interested,
giving and receiving. You feel united with the whole world, surrounded
by magical love.
Falling in love is like a wonderful
illness. It has to do with the divine, with madness, with mystery.
Anything is possible; the sky has no limits.
 |
| But the truth
is, marriage can be an opportunity for discovery. And it is
precisely when we feel that we have stopped being in love
that we encounter our real capacity of LOVING; |
 |
And then comes marriage. Living together
as husband and wife, raising kids, paying bills and cleaning,
laundry. You "fall into" the marriage and the accompanying
problems. And you wonder: Why do you have to work so hard i to
make the marriage work? How can you keep the magic alive?
The character in the following drama
is faced with the same questions. She wonders if familiarity brings
a kind of dullness. She questions: in order to have a successful
marriage, does she have to falsify herself, to sell her soul?
But the truth is, marriage can be
an opportunity for discovery. And it is precisely when we feel
that we have stopped being in love that we encounter our real
capacity of LOVING; this capacity for loving which has been so
often hurt, smashed, neglected, and misunderstood, first by our
parents, then by others and even by ourselves.
As little children we were acquainted
with magic and joy, but this knowledge was buried in order to
survive. As adults, returning to this child quality can renew
us and keep the magic in our relationship alive: being enthusiastic
and curious about everything. The world is new and surprising
and special - have a love affair with the world..
The key to magic in our adult life
is to connect with this magic quality. This can keep the magic
alive in all of our relationships: with ourselves, with our partner,
with our children, with the whole world.
We don't have to sell ourselves,
we don't have to play games or behave ourselves and "be nice"
to our partner -- we just have to share the Magic without fear.
Tapping into that magic is our principal
task in marriage.
|