IV: Method (including how you should behave!)

Okay, different strokes for different families. See if this works. If not, come up with your own method:

• Set an Agenda -- See The Agenda
  
  
• Develop a rotation system for the Meeting Leader. This is important, no matter how young. (Well, six months is pushing it.) What I'm saying is that, even a five-year-old (with a little help from Mom or Dad or an older sibling) can get into the swing of things. Train them young to become leaders! This is also known as "The Meeting Leader's One Hour of Fame". Ever heard of Warhol's 15 minutes? Everyone deserves the chance to be Chief Honcho once in a while. And if you're not The Man (or Woman) at work, school or on the soccer field, at least, once every X number of weeks, you're The One at home, among your family.
  
  
• Appoint a Note Taker. This should be done on a rotation basis, just as the Meeting Leader is rotated. Leading the meeting is more fun than recording it. This teaches one that life is not all fun -- we have to do grunt work once in a while! Maybe the note taker should be whoever will be the next Meeting Leader; that way, s/he doesn't feel so bad, since the fun part is only a week away!
  
  
• Treat each other with respect. Yes, yes, we know you do all the time. Well, do it here, too. One way to keep things from getting out of hand is by only speaking when you are holding the object of choice (this is another opportunity for the Meeting Leader's creativity to shine!) and whoever holds the ball (or shoe, or cellphone, or cowboy hat, or petrified snake from last year's science exhibit) keeps talking till he's through and passes it to the next one. The Meeting Leader can experiment with maximum time frames. (one minute? three minutes? 20 seconds?) He can always return to someone who feels he needs more time, but it will teach everyone to get to the point quickly. (This will serve you well in life!)
  
  
• Don't scapegoat! Your family members are not the enemy. In other words…
  
  
• Think of yourselves as a team!
  
  
• If you raise a problem, suggest a solution.
  
  
• Sign non-disclosure agreements. Well, verbal ones, anyway. In other words, consider what is said within the confines of the Family Meeting to be for the ears of those present, only (unless it's something fun and harmless). If you MUST speak to somebody because of a serious issue that is not being solved, talk to a professional, your school guidance counselor or one person who you trust and who is discreet.
  
  
• Stick to the agenda. The best meetings in companies, schools, camps and organizations are those that get through the agenda before they get into brainstorming. If you MUST brainstorm in the middle because it is related to the topic at hand, the Meeting Leader must remember to eventually get back to the list. (Or that unclaimed laundry will stay there another week.)
  
  
• Summarize at the end. This is important and is almost the most difficult job of the meeting.
  
  
• The Note Taker write up notes and distributes to all those who were present. Now you know why I wrote that the previous item was "almost the most difficult job." But it's got to be done. It can be short. It can be cryptic. It can be bullets instead of sentences. You can even skip the illustrations. But do it! It also can form the basis, some day, of a wonderful family memory book!!!
  
  
• Your ideas here: