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HUMOR
Dear Children,
I have been a faithful cook but I need to give you
my resignation, effective today. I am sorry to say
that the other kitchen staff has not being doing its
job and cooking has become too difficult when every
time I enter the kitchen, I have to clean up first.
There are ants in the kitchen
and there's crud on the bottom of the garbage pail.
To put it simply, my working conditions have become
insufferable.
Don't worry about writing me
a letter of recommendation. I have decided to change
careers. Love,MomSample
letters written by Sherri Lederman
Mandell, of Under Sherri's Hat.
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SERIOUS
Dear Brad,
I don't like fighting with you. I know you don't like
to listen to me scream and I certainly don't enjoy
getting angry.
I want you to know that I feel
upset when I don't get the help I need from you. I
know you are a thoughtful person. You feed the dog
and walk him without being reminded.
I would like you to remember
that in this family we share chores and the dishes
need to be done every night. I would appreciate it
if you would do the dishes on your night and when
you can't, that you ask somebody else to take your
place that night.
I love you and know that we can
keep the kitchen clean without either of us feeling
grumpy about it.
Love,
Mom
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CURVEBALL
My Dear Hungry Children,
When I took the job of chief cook and bottlewasher,
I thought I would have the help of the other people
who live in this house.
But whenever I ask you to pitch
it, you look at me as if I am clueless.
"I'll help," you answer. But
I have to wait.
We need a watchmaker to come
fix the clocks in this house because something is
seriously wrong with them.
When you say, you'll start the
dishes in five minutes, it means an hour. Or two.
When you say you'll clean your
room soon, soon means:
A day. Or two. Or never.
So tonight be warned. When you
ask for dinner, and I answer five minutes, if you're
hungry, I suggest you start cooking.
Because from now on, I'm using
one of your watches.
Love,
Mom
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