Dear Sharon,

I don't feel like you love me any more. More specifically, you never want to make love any more. There are times that you say that you do, but by the time we get to bed you're no longer interested. You're always saying that you're too tired. I'm not too tired, and I work all day, too.

I feel angry and rejected. I guess you're not attracted to me any more.
Mark

The Write Way

Dear Sharon,

I love you and I miss being intimate with you. It seems that we're both always too tired to make love, but it's more than that. I miss just spending time alone with you. No children, no other family, no phones ringing, no dogs wanting to be walked (okay, maybe this last one is too much to ask for!). But you know what I mean.

Let's try to think of things that we used to do before we had kids. We liked going to bookstores, browsing through the stacks, and drinking coffee together. Remember that time downtown? We started kissing by the travel books and we ended up barely making it in the front door of our house!

I still think about you in the same way. I know that we're both stressed now with our jobs and the children. It's hard to feel sexy when Aaron has just thrown up on us in the middle of the night.

So what can we do? Maybe we could have your Mom pick up the kids some Sunday mornings and we could go back to bed. Or let's go out on a date Saturday night. How about a movie? Maybe we should look into going away for a weekend? Where would you like to go?

We might have to keep looking for ways to spend time alone together, at least until Brian leaves for college. Hey, that's only 16 years away! We'll make it.

Lots of love,

Mark

Samples letters written by Dr. Louise Klein, psychotherapist.