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Letters on Parental Expectations
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Part I: Parent to Teen
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our comments
on what's right or wrong with the letter.
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The Wrong Way
Dear Johnny,
I'm really disappointed in you. I can't believe that
you got yourself drunk at that party. What you did was
really stupid! What were you thinking?Maybe you weren't
thinking.
Maybe it's just those guys that you hang
out with. I thought that I had raised you better and
had taught you to think for yourself. I guess I was
wrong.
Dad
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The Write Way
Dear Johnny,
I'm not exactly sure what happened last night. It sounds
like it was a party that got out of hand.
I want
to sit down with you and talk about it. I want to hear
your side of the story.
But I also want to tell you what my expectations
are. I'm uncomfortable with you going to parties where
people are drinking because you're underage. I know
that it's normal to want to experiment with alcohol
but I expect you to exercise good judgment. This means
that you don't get drunk, and that you never drive after
you've been drinking. Never. There is no compromise
on this point because it's against the law and too many
people have been injured because of drunk drivers. Don't
let yourself become a statistic.
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Use
at least several of the following principles:
Don't blame. Use "I"
statements instead of "you did/are this…"
statements. State your expectations clearly.
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Your Way
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