The Austen-Kutchinskys

Joe’s First Therapy Session

If this is your first time here, we suggest you read CAST BIOS.

Joe walks into Dr. Alberts' office. It has flowers on a table in the waiting room and photos of unusual people and places on the wall. There is a soft earth-colored rug. It is warm and inviting. Joe stands aimlessly looking at one of the photos. A man, about 45, dressed in corduroy slacks and a faded beige vest comes out and invites Joe into his office.

Dr. Alberts:
Have a seat, Joe. (Pauses while he looks at the police charge sheet.) I suppose you know why you're here?

Joseph Kutchinsky, Jr.

Joe:
Because I've been told by the Law to come.

Dr.:
From the look of this rap sheet the Law had good reason to send you to me. In fact, they were mighty kind to you. These are some serious offences. I see you almost killed this kid who allegedly raped your sister...

Joe:
What do you mean "allegedly"? You know I wouldn't be talking to you if it was alleged.

Dr.:
...and that you got caught with a bag of coke. Certainly seems to me you’ve got some stuff to work on. (Pauses) Here's the deal, Joe. You come to sessions and there won't be any charges brought against you.The captain told you that he's going to keep track of whether you come or not. I'll keep him informed about your attendance. Everything else between us is confidential. Right now you’re here against your will but I hope real soon you'll realize that you need to work on yourself.

Joe:
Tell me is this going to be like "Good Will Hunting?" You'll be real cool and maybe even tell me about your wife and try to pretend to be real with me and then I'll open up and tell you why I'm such an angry loser. Isn't that the way it works?

Dr.:
Well, Robin Williams was a good therapist. I see that I'm going to have to be very clever to get through to you. Basically here’s the story: you’ve got to be here, I’m getting paid anyway, so we can sit here, stare at each other and do nothing. Or, since you have to be here anyway, why don’t we make it easier for both of us and...

Joe:
So go ahead. Ask me questions. No, here I got the question for you. I know you're dying to ask it. (He speaks very slowly, elongating each word.)

"How did your mother's death affect you?" That's a good shrink question, isn't it?

Before Dr. Alberts can answer, he quickly answers his own question.

Yup, I’ll confirm it. I’m all messed up from the death of my mother. I used to be a good kid, a happy kid, she died, everything fell apart. There, you’ve got it in a nutshell doc. I even read that book by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Stages of Death and Dying. So now tell me something new and original.

Dr.:
No, you tell me something new and original. The only thing you've shown me so far is that you can do a fair imitation of Will and every other smart ass kid with a chip on his shoulder. So you want to be real. Here's real: You’re either going to kill yourself or somebody else. It’s a miracle I’m not talking to you in prison. You were high as a kite when you beat him up. And you had enough coke in yourpocket to knock a horse on his rear end.

Joe:
I wasn’t high, I was drunk. And what do you care?

Dr.:
At this point, I don’t know if I care or not. If I can get through to you, I’ll care about you. If I get through to you, you’ll be real to me. Right now you’re just one more kid with an attitude.

You think what you've shown me so far is original and clever? Forget it. I’ve seen hundreds of kids like you. Each had his "cool" attitude. With some, I found out that there was a person underneath it. When I did, we both won. So you can remain a tough kid with an attitude and you’ll lose and I’ll lose but you’ll lose a hell of a lot more than me. I’ll go home to my wife and kids but you’ll lose because you’ll be throwing away your life.

So that’s it. You want to remain a tough kid with an attitude or you want to get real with me? Get real with me and I’ll help you.

Joe doesn’t say anything. He just looks at him.

All Drawings are Martin Holt Originals

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