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Will Pamela and Joseph Resolve
their Conflict?
Will they go into therapy?
If this is your first time here,
we suggest you read CAST
BIOS.
Pamela:
What?! You set up an appointment
with those therapists without consulting me?
Joseph:
Yes I did. I didn't think you'd be angry. I thought you'd be happy
that I was taking some action to solve this problem.
Pamela:
Happy? You make a major decision
like that without talking to me first and you expect me to be happy?
I know you're used to acting on your own, but Joseph, you're married
now. And besides, are we going to run to a therapist every time
something goes wrong? Why don't we try to just solve our problems?
And who are these people? I don't relish telling our problems to
strangers.
Joseph:
I don't understand your priorities. Our house is on fire and you're
worried about what the fire department will think?
Pamela:
Well, who set the fire? Joe Jr. brings his drugs and his nasty behavior
home with him, gets Judith all upset.
Joseph:
Gets Judith upset? Pamela, this may
come as a surprise to you, but living with Judith is no piece of
cake. I mean, I've tried to be patient.
Pamela:
YOU'VE tried? What do you think it's been like for me, suddenly
finding myself with three more children who...one of them does drugs,
another is a budding Lolita, okay, Petie is a good kid.
Joseph:
Lolita?! Now it's Chris you don't
like?!
Pamela (apologetic):
Okay, I'm sorry for saying that. But Joseph, your kids have got
problems and you're not dealing with them! Do you want me to keep
these things a secret from you? The drugs? The bad crowd Chris hangs
out with? You don't see half of what goes on because you're almost
never home and even when you are home you're afraid to tell them
what to do!
Joseph:
Pamela, I can't be home any more
than I am now ...
Pamela:
We're going around in circles! No one is blaming you for not being
home, but the fact is you are not as involved in your children's
lives as you should be.
Joseph:
...and as for telling them what
to do, maybe my style of raising children is different from yours.
I don't think they should be preached to. I think they have to learn
from personal example, from talking things out, not just taking
orders and lectures from me.
Pamela:
Okay Joseph, sounds great. A wonderful way to raise children. There's
only one problem. IT'S NOT WORKING! I never had to preach to my
kids either and so far...
Joseph:
Every time the kids fight you defend
your daughter and come down hard on Joe Jr. ... It can't be only
his fault all the time. All seven of us are going through a difficult
transition. How are we going to work this out if we can't all speak
honestly about how we feel?
Pamela (quietly):
Okay, let's speak honestly. Your son Joe Jr. is probably bringing
drugs into this home. I've got a teenage daughter and a young impressionable
son who see that. So think about them, not just about his feelings.
And think about your own younger children! Do you want them under
Joe Jr.'s negative influence?
Joseph:
Negative! He's a good kid, he's
just been through a lot. What do you want me to do, throw him out
of the house?
Pamela:
I didn't say that! But we have to work things out!
Joseph:
So that's why I made the appointment
with the therapists - so we can finally work it out.
Pamela (starts to cry):
Joseph, I feel like everything's been
taken out of my hands. I'm in a new country, with a new job, with
a new family, and now, with a new set of problems, and I don't even
feel like I have control over my own life. You were so different
in Milan. We discussed these problems then, we knew it wouldn't
be easy. You said then that you'd be willing to do anything it takes
to make this work!
Joseph:
Pamela, that's exactly what I'm
trying to do - find a way to make this work! I wasn't trying to
take anything out of your hands.
Pamela:
Well, instead of making decisions
without consulting me, why don't you begin making it work by talking
to Joe? Your son needs help in a big way.
Joseph (tightly):
Okay. I'll postpone the appointment
and do it your way first. I'll talk to Joe. But you have to promise
to do something about Judith, too. She has got to change her attitude
if this is going to work.
Pamela (long pause):
I'll talk to her.
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