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Juliet is suffering silently from
self-injury syndrome, something that most sufferers suffer alone,
and in shame. While some experts have seen self-injury as similar
to suicide, just stopping short of it, most see self-injury as
a distinct entity. Why do people, and especially women and young
women, engage in such activities ranging from hairpulling and
cutting one's self to much more severe forms of self mutilation?
For those of us who don't engage
in this kind of activity it seems bizarre bordering on crazy.
The fact is, most people who self-injure are not "crazy"
but they often do suffer from psychological problems. Depression
is common in people who self-injure. People who self-injure have
often suffered physical, emotional or sexual abuse as children.
So why is Juliet going to cut herself
again? Self-abusers report feeling calm and peaceful after a certain
amount of injury. Many report feeling little or no pain. Is she
doing it for the attention that she will get after injuring herself?
Perhaps.
Some experts suggest that self-injurers
pursue this activity as a way of escaping severe emotional pain.
The physical pain they inflict upon themselves allows them to
escape, at least for awhile, the emotional pain they are experiencing.
The feeling of control that some
self-abusers experience can explain in part, the motivation behind
self-mutilation. Many self-abusers, like Juliet, are perfectionists,
demanding a lot of themselves.
Juliet's your friend-how do you help
her? It's important to recognize that people who self-injure themselves
on a regular basis need to get professional help. The first therapist
you turn to is not always the right one for you. If Juliet feels
that Doug is not a good therapist for her, it may pay to try a
different one.
One of the things that both therapists
and friends can help Juliet with is letting her know that she
is okay, even if she isn't perfect. It sounds like she is setting
up tremendously high standards for herself, and ends up creating
a lot of tension and self-induced pressure. Learning how to let
go a bit, relax, and unwind might be very helpful for Juliet.
As Juliet's friend you could try
to distract her when she begins to talk about self-injuring. Go
for a walk, or see a movie together. Often the urge to self-injure
will pass with time. But remember, you are not her therapist,
you are her friend.
If you have a child that self-injures
it is imperative to consult with a mental health professional,
both to get a better understanding of what is going on and to
get some help for your child. This is one symptom that cannot
be overlooked, and shrugged off.
There are many treatments available
for self-mutilators, and their families. There is light at the
end of the tunnel.
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