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If
I were my parents I would always stick up for my kid
because if you don't, your kid begins to feel bad and thinks
that you don't care about him. Anyway, your kid always needs
somebody to stick up for him.
I
would also let my kid wear whatever he wants and make his
own decisions, because kids need freedom as much as
parents do, if not more.
I'm not saying you can let your
kid do whatever he wants, but don't confine him, and let him
make his own decisions.
I
would also let him keep his room however he wants. But
tell him to clean it once a week. If he doesn't want to clean
it, don't make him, just close the door. Make sure that nobody
cleans up for him.
Let
him pick his own friends. If you don't like one of
his friends, then tell him that. If he doesn't want to change
his friends, tell him that you won't let the friend come in
the house. But still don't take him away from his friends
unless he's doing something really
bad like drugs.
Go
out of your way for him but don't change your course.
Which means you can go out of your way for him but don't cancel
something important for yourself for something not so important
for him. Like going to the mall or going to a friend's house.
Let
him do what he wants, work with what he wants, and how he
wants to work. Let him take as much time as he can.
But that doesn't mean he can wait a week if you need something
done now. Like bringing down the laundry or taking out the
garbage.
School.
Make a schedule together of when he's going to do his homework
and projects, when and what he is going to do for after-school
activities, and when he is going to eat dinner each day. And
make sure to ask if he has homework and if he doesn't, ask
him what subjects he had today and what he had to do in each
one. That way he'll "remember" the homework better.
Have
meetings with his teacher every other month to check how he's
doing. If he's not doing that well, talk to him about
it but be gentle. Sometimes he's doing as good as he can.
Dinner.
Dinner is one of the most important meals that you should
have together at the same time always with a full meal, including
drinks, salad, and a main course. And when the kids are good-dessert.
During dinner, you should ask the kids how their day was,
what they did, and what happened.
After dinner, you do not have
to serve any more dinners, but you can serve snacks. After
9:30, the kitchen should close for you. Your kids can still
go in and get whatever they want.
Chores:
Everybody should get their share of chores and the parents
should also do their share of chores. If the kids do their
chores right for a week, give them a little prize or take
them out for dinner.
Allowances:
Kids should get allowances according to their age. Like you
don't give a five-year-old a buck. But you do give an eight-year-old
a buck. For every year, the kids' allowance should go up by
at least a half a dollar. Start giving allowance (about a
quarter) at the age of five. So kids can learn the value of
a dollar. But they have to do chores for the money.
How
to talk to your kids:
Talk
to your kids gently. And not that much. Let the kids
do the talking. If they need encouragement to talk, start
talking a lot and then let them pick up. At the end the parents
should do almost no talking and just say, uh huh, and yes.
How I think my mother is doing:
My mother is doing okay, but
I don't think she gives me enough allowance and we don't have
dinner together or a schedule of homework.
All in all, she's OK, though. If
she reads this article, maybe she'll do a bit better.
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