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Six-month-old Jeremy is lying on
the living room rug, looking intently at a board book, when his
Uncle Luis breezes in through the front door.
"Hiya, fella!" he says, lifting
his nephew high in the air. Jeremy frowns in protest.
Putting the baby down, Luis turns
to Jeremy's mom, Lucia Chan. "What's wrong? Did he get up on the
wrong side of the crib?"
"No…I think you just interrupted him," says Lucia.
"Huh?" This from Luis.
Both adults look down at Jeremy, who has gone back to his book
and seems utterly content.
Jeremy is one of thousands of babies whose parents have been exposed
to what some consider a revolutionary idea: Babies are competent
individuals who have their own agendas and should be treated with
respect.
In their weekly infant-parent class at Resources for Infant Educarers
(RIE,) in Los Angeles, Lucia and her husband, Dennis, are learning
about Jeremy's agenda by carefully observing him explore, play,
and express his needs. They've come to appreciate an approach
that might never have crossed Uncle Luis's mind: Before you
swoop in with your own plan - even if it's just a hug or a diaper
change - watch what your baby is doing. Although he may just
be playing with his hands or gazing at a shadow on the wall, what
he is doing is important for his development.
Given the chance, babies will spend their time learning just what
they need to be learning at any given stage, believes child therapist
Magda Gerber, the founder and director of RIE. Gerber was a student
of Emmi Pikler, M.D., the distinguished, award-winning pediatrician
who ran a group home in Budapest for infants whose parents could
not take care of them. Upon her death several years ago, it was
renamed the Pikler Institute.
GET TO KNOW YOUR BABY
The essence of Dr. Pikler's philosophy can be summed up in one
word: Respect. Based on several decades of observations and studies,
she came to the conclusion that infants are born competent and
that their competence should be recognized and respected.
That means first and foremost
that parents should observe their babies to learn from them
what they know, what they like, who they are.
Respect means that before scooping
up your four-month-old for a diaper change, watch to see what
she is doing -- even if she is "just" watching a shadow moving
on the wall or a particle of dust in a sunbeam -- and try not
to interrupt.
Respect means telling your baby when you are about to do something
and trying to involve her in the decision as well as in her care.
When she is involved in something, look for an opening and say
something like, "I'd like to pick you up and change your diaper
now," and then reach out your arms and await her response. If
she reaches her arms up to you or just shifts her attention to
you from what she's doing, pick her up and continue the routine,
all the while narrating what you are doing and asking for her
help: "I'm going to take off your pants now. Can you pull out
your foot?"
If she ignores your outstretched arms and goes back to her toy
or book or whatever she was involved in, try to wait a few more
minutes.
If you're in a hurry, tell her you need to pick her up now and
do so.
You can start this with the youngest infants. They may not yet
understand your words, but they will soon come to associate your
tone with your gestures.
Respect also means realizing that your baby has all the tools
to learn what she needs to learn right inside her. It means allowing
lots of time and room for safe, free exploration on the floor.
LET YOUR BABY EXPLORE FREELY
Pikler believed that allowing a child to explore and move is of
crucial importance for her gross and fine motor development as
well as for the development of creativity and problem-solving
skills. In carefully watching babies move, she saw that they changed
their position on the average of once a minute and that they naturally
made all the motions that occupational and physical therapists
use with infants who need physical therapy.
In sum, Pikler believed that parents should observe more, do
less, not invest in so many toys and gadgets, let babies explore
freely without interruption, let the child initiate contact with
parents rather than parents following the urge to entertain her,
and let the various stages of gross-motor development happen on
their own without urging, propping, walking, etc.
She also spoke out against infant seats, walkers, swings or other
contraptions, because a confined baby is one who cannot move freely
and develop into the graceful, secure walker that it is her birthright
to be.
Pikler was widely known in Hungary and in many other European
countries, but is little known in the US. Her book Peaceful
Babies Contented Mothers was translated into German and only
partially translated into English in the Sensory Awareness Foundation's
winter 1994 bulletin.
After many years of hands-on work with parents and babies, the
Gerber and Pikler approach is now receiving national recognition.
The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)
for example, recently incorporated the RIE approach into its recommendations
for infant care.
NO NEED FOR ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION
And people in high places have changed their thinking on infant
stimulation. "For years, people in our field have advocated the
importance of providing stimulation for infants, while Gerber
was in favor of giving babies more space," says Peter Mangione,
Ph.D, co-creator of the Program for Infant-Toddler Caregivers,
a project of West-Ed, a nonprofit educational research organization
in Sausalito, California. "Over time, other researchers have revealed
how self-motivated babies are."
Studies have found, for example, that infants like to look at
black and white shapes. But since your baby's attention naturally
gravitates towards contrasting patterns around her, there's no
need to show her a black-and-white toy. And instead of putting
a rattle into your baby's hands, Gerber suggests placing it and
a few other toys within reach and letting your baby choose which
she wants to play with.
Pikler and Gerber advocate a whole new way of seeing our babies.
When we see them for who they truly are, respect will come naturally.
For more information about Pikler's
ideas, contact RIE, 1550 Murray Circle, Los Angeles, CA 90026,
tel. (001-213 663-5330; www.rie.org)
It publishes a manual and a newsletter, and offers videotapes
and training for parents and professionals.
© Ruth Mason, 2000
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