It sounds as if you're having a serious
problem, and you could use more help than I can give you here.
If you weren't firm enough with your son many years ago, it could
be that he won't accept limits when you try to set them now. Bringing
the bullet to school may well be the beginning of the display
of his anger, and his need for too much power.
I strongly urge you to see a psychologist
who will work not only with your son but also with you and the
school around his problems. That should be done soon. Ask the
school for a recommendation. An evaluation by the school or a
private psychologist may help you to identify if your son has
some academic problems that you're not aware of.
It's also very important to find some of
your son's positive strengths and interests. Band, intramural
sports, or Scouts are all positive activities that will provide
appropriate peer groups and some male mentors for your son.
Be sure to protect your daughters from
their brother's violence. You may wish to let him know that future
girlfriends will not appreciate an angry young man unless they're
already accustomed to abuse, and hopefully, he won't want to select
girls who elicit abuse.
It is more complex to raise a son as a
single mother, and you need a lot of support and encouragement.
Please realize that despite the special challenge, there are some
wonderful young men who have been raised by single mothers.
For a free newsletter on underachievement,
send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to MetroHealth, P.O. Box
45489, Cleveland, OH 44145.
Dr.
Sylvia
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