|
What mother has not almost pulled her hair out, stifled a scream,
or locked herself in the bathroom out of desperation for a five-minute
breather during that awful time known as "the witching hour"?
Indeed,
that hour before - and sometimes during - dinner, when everyone
is more likely to be tired, cranky and hungry, can jangle the
nerves of the calmest parent.
Mothers (and even if both mom and dad are working, somehow mom is
usually the one in charge of dinner) feel particularly pressured
during the late afternoon hours.
A working moms may just be getting home,
exhausted and wanting to get dinner under way. But kids who haven't
seen her all day may want her undivided attention. Once your first
child is born, that break we need to relax upon arriving home from
work goes out the window.
A stay-at-home mom who has been in the park
or out doing errands or chauffeuring kids around all afternoon may
also feel pressured to get dinner on the table at a reasonable hour.
In short, it's a time when no one is
at their best.
Here, from the field, are some tried and
true tips for surviving the witching hour - and maybe even enjoying
it.
Appoint a "Dinner Helper"
When assigning the weekly chores to family
members, have one of the regular jobs be "dinner helper".
Although it may take some cajoling to get little ones to cooperate,
having another set of hands - even small ones - in the kitchen to
peel carrots, tear lettuce, wash rice or cut potatoes can be a real
boon to the dinner-maker. Of course, it also helps teach responsibility,
adds to the child's feeling of contributing to the family, and teaches
some skills he'll need when he's on his own.
Prepare in Advance
If at all possible, try to have some dinner
preparations made earlier in the day: you can wash the lettuce,
trim the vegetables, or measure ingredients. That will save both
time and energy during this hectic hour.
Enjoy Music While You Work
Put on soothing music and set out paper
and water colors or real clay on the table. Working with the hands
to music helps soothe the soul of a fractious child.
Give Them the Attention They Deserve
In her book The
Second Year of Life (Walker and Co., New York, 1991),
Dr. Nina Lief, child psychiatrist and pediatrician, advises
working parents to give their children, especially babies
and toddlers, the undivided attention they crave after a day
of separation before attending to dinner.
"Depending on the hour the parents come
home, it is generally a good idea to have the caretaker feed the
child earlier. It is often hard for the child to eat [during] the
excitement of the parents' arrival home," she writes.
"Whichever parent gets home first can
play with the child. The other can take over for a while (while
the spouse makes dinner). After some initial attention, the child
will be more willing to sit with the parents - perhaps having a
snack or dessert - while they eat dinner.
"The important thing to recognize is
the child's need; that is why he or she clings and craves attention.
The child is not being naughty; he is behaving appropriately for
his age and demonstrating his attachment to the parents.
"The more cheerfully you respond to
the child's need for attention - and the more complete your attention
is upon first coming home - the sooner your child will feel reassured
and relaxed. Children sense your tension and become upset; so the
more relaxed you can be, the happier the situation will be for all."
And during dinner...
Make it Fun!
Compete with yourselves as a group to see
how long everyone can stay silent. Use a stopwatch and start with
one minute. If you succeed, move up to two, three, etc. You'll be
surprised at how relaxing it can be for everyone without constant
chatter. It also does wonders for the bickering.
Keep joke books by the table and take turns
reading or telling jokes during dinner.
Turn it into a Family Romance!
Once in a while, try having a candlelight
dinner for the whole family. Bring out the cloth napkins and the
good dishes. Put on soft jazz or other music in the background.
Entertain each other at dinner by making up and acting out commercials,
such as pizza ads; try commercials for imaginary products such as
fake toenails.
Yes, the "witching hour" can be
survived! All it takes is a little thought and imagination!
|
