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Studies show that the three areas
in which children learn tolerance or intolerance are the home,
school and the media, in that order. Even if you have a progressive
home, intolerance, as you pointed out, is in the air and children
absorb it like sponges.
The globalization of trade and capital
has also produced the globalization of humanity. We see so much
more diversity now. The increasing diversity we see requires that
we teach our children increasing tolerance to prepare them for
the multi-cultural life of the 21st century, which is their century.
If we don't, we're depriving them of the skills they need to be
viable in their world.
We are not born with prejudices or
stereotypes but they develop very early in life as does the quest
for identity, which is a strong human need. We can teach our children
that we have an identity and that other identities are just as
interesting and just as valuable. We can encourage our children
to experience the positive aspects of diversity rather than a
fear of diversity.
BE AWARE
OF YOUR OWN STEREOTYPES
We can do this by using the home,
school and media in a positive way. In the home, this means that
we as parents must become aware of and sensitive to our own stereotypes,
prejudices and intolerance. We need to monitor our attitudes and
behavior because everything we say and do has an influence on
our children’s ability to tolerate diversity.
You're stuck in traffic and the driver
in front of you is taking her sweet time moving forward when the
opportunity arises. You curse under your breath and say something
about "women drivers." You notice another Hispanic-owned
store opening and make a comment about how they’re taking
over the neighborhood. You ask your child why he can’t be
as hard-working as the Asian kids in his class.
Each of these statements gives our
children the message that an entire group of people can be characterized
-- a message that does encourage prejudice. Instead, we can teach
our children about the dangers of generalizing. We must be careful
not to talk about "all" whites, "all" Asians,
"all" women. We try to teach our children discriminatory
awareness so they can respect a culture even when individuals
in that culture behave in a deviant manner. Such people exist
in all cultures.
Teaching tolerance is teaching respect
for humanity. Do we speak kindly of Haitian immigrants in our
home so our children develop kind attitudes toward them? When
we speak of Vietnamese immigrants in our home do we speak with
compassion for their struggle to get here? Do our children see
us do good deeds for people who cross the boundaries of sameness?
Or do we only do good deeds for people who are just like us? Who
is welcome in our home? Who do our children see sitting around
our dinner table?
A further step is to go beyond tolerance
and to teach pro-social behavior, that is behavior that is non-violent,
non-hurtful and non-hateful. It means taking a stand against bigotry;
speaking out against racism. It means teaching your child to stand
up against bullies when he sees a group of boys picking on someone
they consider a sissy. The best way to do this is to be a model.
If a friend tells a Polish joke in your presence and, despite
your discomfort, you point out that the joke is a racist one,
your child will be likely to emulate you.
Because of space limitations, we
will only say a few words about school and the media. Curricula
have been developed that teach tolerance and some schools are
using them. If your school is not, ask for it.
Point out media biases to your children
and look for books and toys that don't portray only white people.
Tolerance and intolerance are learned.
If we fear differences, our children will too. Teaching tolerance
is a responsibility parents need to take seriously. As educators
of the next generation, we have an obligation to stand up against
bigotry, racism and prejudice in all its forms.
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