Dear Dr. Sylvia,

I have an eight-year-old daughter, who does not like to listen. Her teacher says she talks too much in class, and I have taken away some of the things she likes to do, but she still talks in class. It started in first grade and continues. I have read many books about discipline and have not found the answer. She is usually a sweet child, but sometimes she really gets out of hand and throws tantrums like a two-year-old.

Since your daughter is basically a good kid, why not help her problem-solve instead of punishing her? Let her know you understand it may be hard to stop socializing, but it's getting in the way of other children's learning. Suggest using "smiley" faces or stickers for her good days and involve the teacher in her plan. It would be important that the plan be secret and not be obvious to other students, or it's less likely to be effective.

You can ignore your daughter's tantrums or simply send her to her room for time out, but be very sure she doesn't get what she wants when she tantrums.

Dr. Sylvia

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