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A single parent is, first and
foremost, a parent. We have all the responsibilities any other
parent faces, all the anxiety any other parent faces and all
the joy any other parent gets from seeing our children growing
up into the people we hoped they would be.
Though I don't want this forum
to become a place where we bemoan our terrible fate, there
are a few differences between single parents and other types
of parents. This means that having an Internet community for
single parents will make a very real difference in our lives.
And this is why:
I spoke of responsibility, anxiety,
and joy.
A single parent has all the usual
parental responsibilities, but typically carries them alone.
We have all the usual moments of anxiety, with hardly anyone
to support us. Even the joy and pride we occasionally take
in these wonderful kids needs to be shared, and there isn't
always someone near enough who has the time to listen to us
go on about the latest achievement and respond with all the
enthusiasm this deserves.
A community of parents who face
the challenge single-handedly (with the other tied behind
their backs while trying to hold down a real job and keep
the laundry basket from overflowing and the yard clean) would
mean having other peoples' experience at our fingertips. It
would mean having the chance to sound off at whatever it is
that happened, without thinking 75 times, "Should I be
saying this?" "Will it damage the kids' relationship
with their Dad to hear how upset I am with him?" "Does
she really want to hear me go through all this again?"
It would mean understanding that
I'm at the very least in good company, if not perfectly normal,
because so many others here experience similar feelings at
some point. And some in the community even have real lessons
they learned as a result and can share them with me to help
me find my mental balance again.
The lessons of experience are
more valuable at times than your everyday, garden-variety
common sense, because the emotional pull on a single parent
is so very intense.
Even if You're Not Single...
Working moms in stable, loving
relationships will also find intriguing items here, since
the constant lack of time and the eternal question of how
to most profitably use what's left of it are problems they
share with single parents.
I see my friends around me --
for the most part working moms -- and in many cases they function
as single parents from the moment school's out until suppertime
every day. The difference is that they do have someone to
share it with once the angels are asleep... but that doesn't
mean that the struggle is any easier at the time it happens.
So here's a place for all moms.
- Write to us about what single
parenting means to you, whether you're already in it, or maybe
afraid of having it happen to you.
- What do you do to make it easier,
from timesaving tips to great places to take the kids that give
reductions on entrance fees?
- How do you help your kids deal
with various situations? How do they help you in return?
Post Your Answer on the
Single
Parents' Discussion Board
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