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Dear
"Looking for a Therapist,"
You write that you and your husband love
each other but need to work out some marriage issues. Your husband
feels that your marriage might not last while you did not even
know that there was anything wrong and felt you had a great relationship.
You ask for advice and what type of therapy is needed.
I am glad that you want to do something
for your marriage and are asking for advice. There seems to be
quite a difference between you and your husband in the way that
you see the marriage. Your husband must have his reasons why he
thinks the marriage won't last and you must have your reasons
to feel that it is a great relationship. This difference between
the two of you may means that you are not talking enough with
each other about what is going on in your relationship.
You need to sit down with your husband
and discuss your relationship together. Here are some guidelines:
- Why does your husband feel that the
marriage won't last?
- What in the relationship needs to change
according to your husband so that it does last?
- What does he need from the marriage
so that he can feel more satisfied?
- What issues in the marriage need to
be worked out according to you and according to your husband?
- Is there anything that you need to
feel even more satisfied with the marriage?
- What positive things do you see in
your relationship that you can share with him? Ask your husband
what positive things he sees in the relationship.
Sometimes a couple is able to work things
out on their own by sitting down together and discussing these
issues. Often the assistance of a marriage counselor can be of
great help. I recommend that you and your husband consult a psychologist
or social worker specializing in couple therapy.
Good Luck.
Silvet Sufar Shalit PsyD
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