Patricia Lawrence Pomposello, LCSW
Ms. Patricia Lawrence Pomposello is a psychotherapist, specializing in couple and women issues
Most everyone has experienced the feeling of jealousy. It isn't much fun. When it occurs on a regular basis in an intimate relationship, it can drive a wedge between the couple. For a marriage to succeed and grow, there needs to be a basis of trust. Mimi and Carter have begun a discussion here and Mimi has set a ground rule for how often Carter can call her while she visits her sister with the children. However, this conversation is anything but a resolution of the problem.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Three weeks ago, my husband moved out of our bedroom. He asked me last week what I wanted. I told him I'd like some affection. He said any affection he would give me would be faked. I can't understand why he doesn't move out if he doesn't care about me. Am I being foolish, thinking he still cares? Dear Am I Being Foolish, Your husband has decided to sleep on the couch and then to make matters worse, you ask him for affection and he says that any affection he would give you would be faked.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I've been in my current marriage for 12 years. I had two children prior to this marriage, and they left home years ago. We have two small children in the current marriage ( 8 and 11). My husband recently told me that he wanted me to agree to a Will, whereby he would divide our assets in thirds (upon his death): 1/3 to our son, 1/3 to our daughter, and 1/3 to me. He has this awful accusation that he states frequently -- I love my older children more than my younger ones, and he is afraid I will give them his money that rightfully belongs to his children.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband and I have been married 20 years and have four sons (20, 18, 16 and 9). We have always gotten along well, had a good sex life, enjoyed each other's company, spent time alone together, enjoyed family activities, community service, etc. The only conflict we've ever had was financial; we have always struggled paycheck to paycheck, lost a house through foreclosure 10 years ago and filed bankruptcy. Aside from financial pressures, I have always believed I had the ideal marriage and thought we were more in love with each year. The last two months, my husband became very distant, quieter than usual (quiet is his norm), absorbed in the computer and avoided sex.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband is infatuated with a woman he works with and has been involved with her for four months. I have known about the affair for 2 months. I want to save my marriage and family (three children) but he does not want to listen to reason and now feels that he can't be with me because he does not want to cheat on his mistress. He does not want to listen to any objective opinion nor to any family, he just wants to live his fantasy. He had very few romantic experiences before we married and other women say that he just needs to get it out of his system.
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