Does this sound familiar?
My husband is getting too fat...
My wife loves to sleep with the dog..
Our teen-age daughter wants to get married..
The dilemmas are from real life situations. You are invited to write your comments and advice in response to this week's marital dilemma in the submit box.
I am a divorced woman who recently married a divorced man with two small sons. His wife ran off and he got custody of the kids. They're only three and five and they are calling me mommy and seem to be adjusting well. My own daughter, Becky, is 15. I was single for five years and she and I are used to being very relaxed together. I never had to give her a curfew because she always got in at a reasonable hour. We used to eat pizza for dinner a couple of times a week. Her friends would often hang out and we would watch videos together.
My 11-year-old, Aimee, is off to camp this summer. She's been going to the same camp for three summers and is very happy there. All year she has been getting letters from a boy named E.J. who she says is a very good friend.
My husband intercepted one letter and he said that the boy was writing about kissing Aimee. Now he is very upset. He refuses to send Aimee to camp.
I spoke to her and I think theirs is an innocent romance, puppy love. I spoke to her about the dangers of sex. I'm sure she understands.
I want her to go. She plays sports, hangs out with friends, and has a great time. When I was young, I went to camp and I also had innocent romances.
How can I talk to my husband so that he understands?
My husband and I are in our fifties. Our kids are grown and out of the house. My husband is very thin and can eat whatever he likes without gaining weight. I, on the other hand, am a bit overweight. In order for me to diet, I can't have junk food in the house. But he loves chocolate and potato chips (my two downfalls) and always brings them home. I feel like he is trying to undermine my diet. I'll be really good until late at night, when I'll find a package of chips in the cupboard. Or there'll be Godiva chocolates on top of the fridge. If he didn't bring it home, I wouldn't fall prey to temptation. When I tell him to stop bringing junk into the house, he says that it's his house too and he wants to enjoy his food.
What can I do to make him realize how hard it is for me to have treats in the house? I feel that he is being inconsiderate. At the same time, I don't want to deny him his pleasures.
My wife is angry with me because she thinks that I am too harsh with the kids when I discipline them. When my four year old is out of control, I will hit his behind. If my eight year old is shouting and won't shut up, I might swipe his bottom.
I want the kids to know that I am in charge. I don't think it harms them to be lightly spanked.
But my wife acts like I'm a Nazi war criminal. She says that I need to talk to the kids or send them to time-out. I do send them to time-out, but if they dawdle, I'll hit them. Then they go to time-out.
Please advise me if you think my behavior is out of bounds. And what can I tell my wife so that she will be with me instead of against me?
I have been working as a systems manager for a computer company for the past six years. I am really sick of my job. I want to leave and start my own company, even though I have no business experience. My wife, however, is discouraging me from leaving my job.
The problem is that I am making a good salary now. And, at first, I would never be able to bring in the same amount of money, not even close to it.
We just bought a new house and the mortgage payments are huge. I would like to move to a smaller house so that I could start my business. Then we could live on our savings till the business grew. But my wife is in love with the house and refuses to move.
She does not want me to quit the job under any circumstances. Maybe after the children are grown, she says. But the children are only eight and ten.
I've wanted to leave work for the past two years. I hate my boss and I am tired of working for somebody else. On the other hand, I don't want to upset my wife.
What do I do?
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