|
Dear
Frustrated Father:
Don't be apologetic about not running a boot camp - those are usually
short term solutions, anyway. Real communication with your kids
is not achieved by their spending time on the rock pile.
It is not uncommon for a kid to look at their
brothers and sisters and think that he's getting the raw deal -
such is the nature of sibling relations. Your little one's older
sisters, for instance, might be thrilled to skip some of their homework
and get a little early shut-eye (well, once in a while).
Tell him that they may be thinking, "Why
can't I go to sleep early like him?" (Yeah, I know this sounds
a little far- fetched, but if he's as bright as you say he is, maybe
he's got a good imagination.) Better yet, get them in on the act
and let them tell him themselves. (Have them do it at the end of
a long day, when it's true!)
Is it also possible that you spent lots of
time reading bedtime stories and sitting next to your older kids
when they were his age, but you've kind of grown beyond that as
they've grown up? Do you give him the same amount of quiet time
and attention that you gave his older brother and sisters? Do you
sit next to him at night and share conversation, a book, a cup of
hot chocolate with him? Do you tuck him in like you did with the
others?
We tend to forget that our older kids grow
up, but our younger ones are still children and need the same TLC.
Maybe his desire to stay up and be with the
family is also a plea for more attention in general. When was the
last time you spent time with him alone?
But beyond these suggestions, he also has
to learn that rules are part of life, even when we don't agree with
them. If he always gets his way at home, he'll expect the same at
school and elsewhere. You aren't doing him a favor by giving in
to his desires, however understandable they might be. Firmness with
love, love with firmness - try to find the formula that's right
for your kid.
|
