Folks, some of this stuff is hard to take. Hang in there and write to us with your questions and reactions.

A Martin Holt Original

1. You can’t make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy.

A Martin Holt Original

2. Try all you want; you'll never change your partner. However, if you change yourself, your partner may change.

A Martin Holt Original

3. People don’t marry people; they marry illusions and fantasies. (What a surprise to discover that your partner is as human as you are.)

A Martin Holt Original

4. A real marriage begins just at the point where the illusion ends. The challenge of marriage is to discover who you married.

A Martin Holt Original

5. Love is only one of the reasons we choose a partner. (Sometimes, it’s not the most important.)

A Martin Holt Original

6. Most likely, the qualities that now drive you crazy are the same ones that first attracted you to your partner.

A Martin Holt Original

7. It is impossible to go through a relationship without experiencing periods of pain and loneliness.

A Martin Holt Original

8. The greatest gift you can give your children is a loving marriage.

A Martin Holt Original

9. A marriage succeeds when each of us realizes that our partner’s needs are at least as important as our own.

A Martin Holt Original

10. Marriage is the best opportunity to grow, overcome selfishness and learn how to love.

Now let your marriage soar!

Share your thoughts on this issue at yourvoice@wholefamily.com.

What marital tips would you give as a gift to newlyweds?