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Introduction
by Dr.
Michael Tobin
This couple prove the obvious
- men and women have different communication styles. Brad
typifies many men. He withdraws in order to deal with problems
and concerns. If he's tired and pressured, he has nothing
to give to Kathy. It's hard for Kathy to understand that it's
almost physically painful for Brad to be with her when he's
in this state.
Kathy's different. Like many
women, she solves problems by talking it out with someone
close to her. It's foreign for her to cut off from people
when she's troubled. When she's in contact with someone close
to her, she's able to clarify her feelings and deal with whatever
is bothering her.
It's right for a woman to expect
her husband to be there for her when she needs him. You don't
make appointments to be with the person who is supposed to
be your most intimate friend.
However, it's incorrect to assume
that a man's need for space proves that he has no desire to
be with his wife. Wanting to be alone is not synonymous with
rejecting someone.
As long as there is no acceptance
or understanding between them, neither Kathy nor Brad will
be happy. Brad isn't getting the time alone that he needs
as long as Kathy is upset with him. And Kathy gets nothing
from Brad while he's feeling angry and resentful toward her.
How can Kathy and Brad learn
to stop hurting each other?
Is it too late for Kathy and
Brad to repair their relationship?
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