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Thursday, 29 March 2001

Communication

Written by  Toby Klein Greenwald , Michael Tobin

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Brad, a 34 year old accountant, and Kathy, a 35 year old sales rep for a cosmetic firm, have been married for five years. They have no children and as this scene reveals, they hardly have each other. She pursues, he distances and both are unhappy.

Kathy: Hi. Can I talk to you?

Brad: Can it wait till later? I'm really wasted. Talking's about the last thing I want to do right now. I've had people pulling on me all day long. I need a break.

Kathy: I'm not people, Brad. I'm your wife. I need to talk to you. Is that asking too much?

Brad: (Sighs) Oh, here we go again. Listen, I don't want to fight with you. I just want to be left alone.

Kathy: Dammit, put your book down. What do I have to do? Get on my hands and knees and beg you to give me a moment of your precious time?

Brad: You have to make this difficult. Don't you? You know, Kathy, it's impossible to say no to you. You want to talk; I want to be left alone. But of course, your needs are more important than mine.

Kathy: Well, you tell me Brad, how am I supposed to feel when every time I want to talk to you, you want to be left alone? Maybe, you just see it as coincidence but to me it's crystal clear - you have no interest in being with me.

Brad: I have no interest in being with anyone right now. You want to take it personally, fine. Feel like the poor rejected wife but that's not what it's about. I'm not pushing you away. I've just had a very hard day.

Kathy: That's the problem. Every day is a hard day for you and every day is an "I've - got - to - be - alone -day."

Brad: Okay, you win. What is it you want?

Kathy: What is it I want!!? Dammit, Brad I want you. I want a husband, a friend. The only thing I am to you right now is one more burden in a difficult day.

Brad: Cut the dramatics, Kathy. You want to guilt trip me or do you want to talk? I'm giving you the time, even though it's not the right time for me.

Kathy: Is it ever the right time for you? You know Brad, you're either too busy, too tired, or too involved with TV or a book. Tell me, do I have to schedule an appointment to be with you?

Brad: Oh, you're really into feeling sorry for yourself. Well, forget it, I'm not buying. I'm not the bastard you think I am. You created the problem here, Kathy, not me. Instead of nagging me, you could have sat next to me. It' too bad you don't understand my need to relax.

Kathy: You know, it's always got to be on your terms. I just don't feel like snuggling next to you (sarcastically); I want to have a conversation; I want your input, I want you to respond. Is that such an unfair demand? Am I really crowding you Brad?

Brad: You want to be nasty? I can be nasty too. It's not talk you want. It's constant attention. I'm just not allowed to do my own thing. I feel so crowded by you.

Kathy: So why stay together? You only want to do your own thing. There's no place for me in your life. So, what's the point of being married?

Brad: Maybe there's no point. If marriage means being stuck together like glue, then maybe we should break the bond...

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Last modified on Sunday, 22 January 2012 20:35
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Toby Klein Greenwald

Toby Klein Greenwald

Toby Klein Greenwald, Executive V.P. Creative Development, is a founding partner and the editor-in-chief of WholeFamily. Toby is an educator, journalist, photographer, scriptwriter, poet, playwright, lyricist, and theater director, including for populations that have experienced trauma or are at risk. She is a Playback Theater conductor and is the recipient of Israel's Ministry of Education's Egerest Award for Culture, for her work in educational and community theater. She has more than 30 years of teaching experience and has served on numerous educational think tanks. Her specialties include the creation of innovative educational programs, and teaching Creative Writing and Film to AD(H)D and LD high school students, and to senior citizens. Toby is married to Yaakov and they have six children, most of whom have made her a proud mother-in-law and grandmother.

Michael Tobin

Michael Tobin

Dr. Michael Tobin has been a psychologist since 1974, specializing in marital and family therapy. He is the author of numerous articles on marriage and family relationships and is the founder of WholeFamily.com. He's  been married to Deborah for 38 years and is the father of four children and grandfather to five.

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