During a recent conversation with my mother, I discovered something amazing. Certain risks that I have taken in college, for better or worse, are things that she, the "been there, done that" Woodstock graduate, could not even fathom. So I decided to take a lighthearted look at the generation gap.
In a nutshell:
Things My Mom Did (in College) That I Would Never Dream of Doing:
Once Beat a Date to a Bloody Pulp: I said no, twice. After that, I showed him some moves from my kick-boxing class. I may have gone a bit too far. My mom admits she wouldn't have known what to do.
- Hard Drugs: Look, it was the sixties. That's what people did. But now? No heart attack or sudden insanity for me, thank you very much. Too many bad stories. We know too much now.
- Slept with Her Professor/s: Sorry, this is the Court TV millennium. Monica. Enough said.
- Slept with Lots of Anonymous People: Ah, free love. Well, nothing is free anymore. Too much lost sleep these days over one wild night. Waiting for that blood test...not worth it.
- Got Arrested: A police record was cool back then. Showed you had some spunk, a conscience. Now? I don't think "time served" will fit well on my resume.
- Followed a Guru: After Waco, any group of people following any one person is just weird. Spirituality is best taken from well-known sources. Sound dry and cold? Maybe, but it's safe.
Things I Did (in College) That My Mom Would Have Never Dreamed of Doing:
- Dieted to the Extreme: Who doesn't want to look like Jennifer Aniston? We know it's terrible and sick, but we do it anyway, and some of my friends have gone way too far. My mom is worried -- and clueless.
- Made Out with a Woman, for the Heck of It: The old bi-try. We can blame it on Ally McBeal, but most of us have been curious since Madonna's book came out. Mom, don't ask "What book?"
- Had Cyber-Sex: This was the 90's version of free love, I guess. Physically safer, for sure...usually. But emotionally? I'm not so sure...My mom doesn't even understand how this works.
- Got a Tattoo: A cool one, right on my left hip. I hope my grandchildren like it. It makes my mom think of bikers and trailer parks.
- Once Beat a Date to a Bloody Pulp: I said no, twice. After that, I showed him some moves from my kick-boxing class. I may have gone a bit too far. My mom admits she wouldn't have known what to do.
I don't know what to do with this data. Chalk it up to technology and the media and AIDS and the end of the Cold War and political correctness, I guess.
I can't wait to see what my daughter does