As I sat by your bedside, I thought about
Two books you bought me.
One of them, A Little Princess, was inscribed,
"To my little princess."
I was ten.
The other, True Gift, was inscribed,
"To my daughter, who has grit in abundance."
I was seventeen.

The lesson I learned from the first book was
that a true princess knows how to give.
The lesson I learned from the second book was
to fight for life.

Now, as I watch you struggling with your own
and I remember the first lesson
I wonder if you remember the second.
One night, fighting to tear off a life-giving mask,
you reached your arm up, heavenward,
as if pleading
for God to take you

and I wouldn't let you go

A few weeks later
you sat up and asked for orange juice
and drank it
like a miracle

I brought you honeysuckle
and eucalyptus oil
Newsweek and poetry
caring hands
and love

But one day, you'll reach up
and all the gifts in the world
will not bring you back down.

I guess part of having
true grit
is knowing when
to give something back