MUDDY BOOTS:
STUPID AND THE SHREW

  
By Sherri Lederman Mandell
  

 

Introduction by Dr. Michael Tobin

In this drama, the wife, Amy (38) plays the role of "mother" and her husband Tom (48) the "irresponsible artist." It wasn't always that way. They met when Amy was a model in a painting course that Tom taught at the local college. At that time, Amy imagined Tom to be responsible and sophisticated. Tom imagined Amy to be carefree and creative. But since marriage and kids (two boys, 11 and 14), Tom has become "a baby" and Amy has turned into "a shrew."

The drama unfolds the morning after Tom's return from a five-day trip to Colorado where he attended the opening of an exhibit of his paintings at the University of Colorado in Boulder.

When he returned three hours late, Amy, already in bed, welcomed him by telling him what he needed to buy at the grocery in the morning.

Now it's morning. Tom's been out and is tramping into the house wearing muddy boots when Amy confronts him.

She's angry because he's been negligent and irresponsible. She's bitter about "covering" for him and being the adult.

They are trapped in a marital game: "Stupid and the Shrew." As long as Tom acts "stupid," he's not responsible. And as long as she buys into his incompetence, she'll think and act for both of them. This is a scenario for constant battles. She wants him to act like a man-but she acts like his mother. She has to learn to stop mothering him-to let go. And he has to become responsible.

 

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Sherri Lederman Mandell has a Master's degree in Creative Writing and has taught writing at the University of Maryland and Penn State University. She is the author of the book Writers of the Holocaust. She has written articles for the Washington Post. She is married with four children.


Dr. Michael Tobin is the Founder and President of WholeFamily and has been a marital and family therapist since 1974.
 
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